AMANDA PLATELL: How CAN Meghan lecture about friendship?

Just when we thought it was all quiet on the Montecito front, Meghan shows up with her exciting new venture.

It’s a Netflix series that celebrates ‘the joys of cooking and gardening, entertaining and…’ — wait for it — ‘friendship’.

This from a woman who has dumped most of her friends from before Harry, as well as her entire family (except for mother Doria), while also luring Harry away from his old friends.

A woman who has such a reputation for unfriending people, there’s a verb for it in the Urban Dictionary – to be ‘Markled’.

What hypocrisy for someone who dumps her boyfriends faster than she leaves the royal family to tell us about friendship.

A quick look through the Duchess of Sussex’s friendship history reveals that she began “Markling” – definition: getting rid of people when you no longer need them – when she moved on from some of her Suits co-stars after describing them as “family”.

And when she started dating Harry in 2016, she counted stylist Jessica Mulroney among her best friends. They were close for decades, and Jessica attended Meghan’s £200,000 NYC baby shower in 2019. Today, she is nowhere to be seen, having been embroiled in a white privilege debate that could have tarnished Meghan’s multiracial brand.

She befriended Violet von Westenholz, a friend of Harry’s in her early days with the prince, before that friendship also cooled.

Same story with Made In Chelsea’s Millie Mackintosh, who is even said to have helped organize the royal wedding – but ended up not being invited.

And don’t even get me started on the way she ‘marked’ the royal family. Oh, and she unforgivably brushed off the friendship Kate offered when Meghan first joined the firm.

Isn’t it also striking that for all her supposed trailblazing feminism, this new series makes her sound like a housewife who’s got her marigolds on?

But it is her claim to know friendship that really cries.

Meghan wouldn’t know how to keep a friend to save her life.

Well done Keir Starmer for in the Mail Labour’s ‘unwavering’ commitment to Trident and nuclear submarines to expose any memory of the policies of peace nod Jeremy Corbyn. Now can he please torpedo his view of women having a penis?

Caroline must RIP

I understand Caroline Flack’s mother Christine’s despair at losing her daughter to suicide – but is it really right to try to reopen a police investigation into the way they handled her daughter’s arrest after she assaulted her boyfriend and then killed herself?

Caroline had a history of suicide attempts and alleged substance abuse.

She was a wonderful but troubled woman who tragically chose to end her own life.

Can we really blame the police for that?

Hanks wins film race

He has run the length of Africa, and now there is talk of eccentric ‘Hardest Geezer’ Russ Cook’s epic journey being turned into a film.

Sorry to break it to you Russ, but Tom Hanks was there before you in 1994 in Forrest Gump which grossed nearly $700 million worldwide.

Kat will not let ITV down

ITV’s This Morning is once again proving a hit with the arrival of Cat Deeley and Ben Shephard, who have replaced Phillip Schofield and Holly Willoughby. The viewing figures have increased by five percent compared to last year.

Good news — but mostly I’m happy for the behind-the-scenes team, who I know from experience are among the best in the business. They kept the sinking ship afloat after Schofield’s shameful departure and Holly’s opportunistic departure just when they needed her most.

The father of one-month-old Ollie Davis has been jailed for life for beating and murdering the little boy, who was so badly injured that he died in agony with a broken neck.

Yet Ollie’s mother Kayleigh Driver will only get seven years for ‘allowing the death and grievous bodily harm of a child’.

In my opinion she is just as guilty as her husband Michael Davis. Any mother who ‘allows’ her baby to be murdered in front of her eyes should also serve life.

EX Post Office chief executive David Smith apologizes for saying in 2010 it was “brilliant news” postmistress Seema Misra was jailed for 15 months.

“Looking at it through their eyes, not mine, you can see that it may have caused significant disruption, and I’m really sorry for that,” he says.

This pregnant mother-of-one, jailed and shamed in her community for a crime she never committed, might have been upset by his vile joy? And what a poor way to say sorry, no doubt prepared by a well-paid lawyer with an eye on future prosecutions. Which I hope we will see plenty of – for former post office managers.

Loyalty in Isla’s life

Following her split from her husband of 13 years, Sacha Baron Cohen, Isla Fisher cut a lonely figure this week as she walked her dog Maisie. I know Maisie from my local park – she is loving and playful, although sometimes a bit naughty and can run away from her mistress. I am always happy to return her to Isla safe in the knowledge that she has a dog in her life who is happy at home.

Leo Woodall, the heartthrob in hit TV series One Day, is up for the next Bridget Jones movie. Jolly well, but there are only two roles Leo, 27, could play – the son of 54-year-old Renee Zellweger, or her toyboy. A middle-aged Bridget rolling around in her famous fat pants with hunky Leo?

Let it be the son! Or it will be a diary entry with alcohol units 35, cigarettes 22, just for the moviegoers.

I’m backing this Aintree favourite

Oh, I love Aintree’s Ladies Day so much when women dress up in the most amazing outfits they have spent weeks, even months planning.

The £5,000 Best Dressed prize must go to this girl, beaming in royal blue. Her shoes were blue and even her toenails were painted to match.

Give that lady the blue ribbon!

After Suki Waterhouse posted a photo of herself looking pretty good after giving birth, other new mums said it doesn’t reflect the real brutality of what having a baby does to your body. I’m just relieved that these attention-grabbing celebrities who invade their own privacy haven’t started posting pictures of the actual birth yet.

Westminster wars

• Liz Truss says the late Queen’s advice when she became prime minister was to ‘pace yourself’. As Liz’s reign was always destined to be a brutally short reign, perhaps what the politically savvy queen was really saying was “keep yourself in order”.

• Sales of Rishi Sunak’s favorite Adidas Samba trainers as people associate them with him. I understand. The moment Cherie Blair started wearing the then-trendy designer label Ronit Zilkha in No.10, the first stop for my collection of RZ dresses was the charity shop.

Sheridan Smith’s West End comeback was a gamble after her struggles with drink – playing an alcoholic. There’s no shame in Opening Night’s Sheridan closing early. Her performance was called brilliant. The incontinent plot disappeared it.