Mary Berry’s Highland Christmas review: Now even Mary adds a dash of political correctness to her dishes, writes CHRISTOPHER STEVENS
Mary Berry’s Christmas in the Highlands
Bad Education: A Christmas Carol
When even Mary Berry takes a swipe at the patriarchy, you know it’s going to be a very joyful Christmas.
Recalling a childhood spent playing outdoors in Scottish winters during her Highland Christmas (BBC1), she asked: “Why do snowMEN always have to be created?”
This is a very good question. The answer is simple: for the snow lady you will need two more pieces of coal.
Instead, Mary sculpted snow turtles, which probably melted very slowly.
Teaching comedian Iain Stirling how to dip leftovers in a fondue of melted Gruyère and Emmenthal, she warned: “The rule is: if you lose your share, you have to buy drinks. And the girls had to kiss everyone, but I’m not entirely sure about that.”
“Yeah, not right now,” Ian agreed. “That was back in the day, old fondue rules.”
Instead of snowmen, Mary made snow turtles when she played outdoors in Scottish winters as a child.
For goodness sake, Ian is the voice of Love Island. He can’t believe that a kiss on the cheek is a #MeToo attack. But these days, mistletoe is probably a criminal offense.
When she wasn’t adding ladles of political correctness to a recipe, Dame Mary was showing us how to use a sherry glass to cut into fried bread medallions as a base for canapés, or roll out stollen dough around a marzipan core… Perfect with a cup of coffee in the morning.”
She took pity on Sir Andy Murray, who claimed that the only dish he could cook was scrambled eggs and a bagel. Her technique for baking smoked salmon kedgeree didn’t involve anything more complicated than slicing a lemon and wrapping the fish in foil.
But she was less forgiving of singer Emeli Sande, who took on a full-scale show despite pleading that she had never even served frosting before. The result was a scone or chocolate roll, soaked in whiskey and topped with ganache, that looked like a treat worth trying sparingly.
Showing us photographs of long-ago family celebrations, Mary revealed that her mother was Scottish. Which explains why, by the time she went reindeer sledding, there was more than just a hint of Lorraine Kelly in her accent. — Is this your first fur? she asked Ian.
When she wasn’t adding ladles of political correctness to a recipe, Dame Mary was showing us how to use a sherry glass to cut into fried bread medallions.
Mary felt sorry for Sir Andy Murray, who claimed that the only dish he knew how to cook was scrambled eggs on a bagel.
Jack Whitehall’s accent turned theatrically fruity in the remake of Scrooge’s story in Bad Education: A Christmas Carol (BBC3). Clanking his chains at unimpressed teacher Steven (Strictly’s Layton Williams), he sounded like Ian McKellen was performing Shakespeare.
‘You are dead?’ – Stephen grinned. “Only you were always a little lethargic.”
Scrooge remakes are a lazy choice for any Christmas special, although the truth is that even Charles Dickens himself wasn’t immune. His first version of the story appeared in The Pickwick Papers seven years earlier. Its central character was a gravedigger named Gabriel Grub, who was shown the error of his ways by time-traveling goblins on Christmas Eve. You didn’t know that, right?
Jack Whitehall’s accent turned theatrically fruity in the remake of Scrooge’s story in Bad Education: A Christmas Carol (BBC3).
This film takes place in a school. Scrooge is a series of songs and dances, such as Grange Hill’s “A Chorus Line”.
Vicki Pepperdine, dressed as a Christmas tree, played the FOMO Ghost of Christmas (that’s the fear of missing out, a concern of Generation Z). Charlie Wernham as gym teacher Mitchell poured a liter of vodka into the eggnog.
The script was chock-full of one-liners, some of which were refined and some of which needed more work. But the writers deserve credit for the lyrics, which manage to rhyme with all of Girls Aloud star Cheryl’s different names: “You can call me Cole, or you can call me Tweedy, you can call me Cheryl or Miss Fernandez-Versini.” Bravo!