Parenting expert reveals tried-and-tested discipline hack that ‘deescalates tempers’ in children of ALL ages – even teenagers
A parenting expert has revealed her clever trick that “de-escalates anger” and works with children of all ages, especially teenagers.
Nick Bowers, an author and former principal from Texas, has worked with students from preschool through college for more than 20 years and specializes in high school teaching.
The mom of two daughters talks about her experiences and shares parenting tips on TikTok, where she has more than 11,000 followers.
Bowers recently detailed her proven technique for disciplining children that allows them to take control of their punishment.
Nick Bowers, a parenting expert and former principal, has worked with students from preschool through college for over 20 years and specializes in high school teaching.
In a recent TikTok video, a Texas mom detailed her proven discipline technique that works with kids of all ages.
“You’ll love this parenting advice and need to keep it. No matter how old your kids are, this will work,” she began her nearly minute-long video.
Bowers advised against imposing punishment hastily, as this can lead to anger and resentment.
She said the first thing you should do when disciplining your child is to “stop, take a step back and think about it.”
“Then you’re actually giving them a choice in the outcome,” she explained, before listing a few examples.
“You can say, ‘Well, do you want to work around the house for four hours or lose your driver’s license?’ Do you want to miss this party or do you want to lose your equipment for the weekend?”
Bowers noted that when you give your child a choice of consequences for his behavior, he is less likely to argue with you about punishment.
“When they complain about it or whatever, they say, ‘Oh well, you chose,'” the parenting expert said.
“It can actually de-escalate the situation because even that little choice isn’t that bad.
Bowers advised giving your child a choice of punishment. “You can say, ‘Well, do you want to do four hours of housework or will you lose your driver’s license?’ – she explained.
“When they complain about it or whatever, they say, ‘Oh well, you chose,'” the parenting expert said. “It can really de-escalate the situation.”
“Try it and let me know how it goes,” she concluded.
Bowers spoke candidly about her childhood and how it shaped her as a mother.
In her upcoming book, Raising Beautiful Messes, she helps other moms better understand themselves so they can build stronger relationships with their daughters.
She spoke about the moment she realized her parenting style had to change. one more video posted on TikTok
Bowers explained that she was in her first year as a high school principal when she encountered a student who was bullying another girl and her mother.
The former director recalled how the mother began to swear at her daughter and call her names, which reminded her of her own childhood.
“I recognized her contempt, her language, her body language, everything she did, and then I also recognized the fear in this child, the embarrassment and her mom’s desire to see her,” she said.
“I knew I had been that daughter many, many times in my life, but as a mom I also knew that I had reacted that way too, and it made me sick.”
This experience forced her to look inward at her past childhood trauma and improve her parenting so that her daughters were no longer afraid of her.
“That was the day I decided the cycle would end for me and I would do what I had to do to have a great relationship with my children,” she said.